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Extremely adult sms jokes and text messages collection

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It’s the thing that satisfies
your mind, body and soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless your naughty mind.
———————————————–
Girl:Its 2 tight
Boy:Dont worry,Ill do it slowly,
Gal:Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I cant,
Gal:Its painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
Well buy new WEDDING RING!
———————————————–
In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,
sardarji replied you naughty pehle tum dikhao.
———————————————–
2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
“Na my wife is better.”
2nd went in and came out n said
“U R right ur wife is much better.”
———————————————–
I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
———————————————–
He came at night,
explored my body,
got on top of me,
touched me, he bit,
sucked, swalowd,
when he was satisfyed,
he left, i was hurt,
.
.
.
BLOODY… MOSQUITO !!!!
———————————————–
3 FEELINGS
what is the diference b/w stress,tension & panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
tension is when girlfriend is pregnant &
panic is when both r pregnant
———————————————–
Catch her by her waist…
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a …
…nice drink…PEPSI
———————————————–
It’s the thing that satisfies
ur mind, body & soul!
Do it on bed, on a sofa,
in the car or anywhere!
It’s called Prayer!
God bless ur naughty mind.
———————————————–
Let me kiss ur lips,
let me feel ur teeth,
let me feel ur tongue.
SMILE!
This is ur friend
“PEPSODENT”
reminding you to brush ur teeth,
Twice a day Everyday 🙂
———————————————–
A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
& pass between woman’s breast
& enters into a small hole
What is it?
———————————————–
I really deeply wish dat
u r here with me in my room.
on my bed & lights is off &
we get under the cover together..
2 show u my glow in the dark watch.
———————————————–
Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.
———————————————–
A short thing
its get longer as u hold it
and pass between woman’s breast
and enters into a small hole
What is it?

Answer: Cars seat belt…you dirty mind !!
———————————————–
A boy & girl go for shopping.
Girl- (jokingly)- you have nothing in your head
then why are you buying a helmet?

Boy- Yesterday you purchased a bra,
did i ask you anything..?
———————————————–
A man while making love to his maid,
exclaimed ‘Martha ur are sweeter than my wife’

The maid smiled and said
‘i know ‘cos the driver always tells me so’

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A girl who opens her hands receives gifts,
who opens her heart receives love,
who opens her legs receives happiness
———————————————–

He took me from a bar
He took me in his car
He took my top off
He puts his lips on mine, but don’t worry: I’m a bottle of wine!
———————————————–

Q: Which boy has the permission to get into a girls’ bathroom and
touch her anywhere she likes?
A: Lifebuoy.
———————————————–

During sexual session the girl says:”u r like a mobile phone!”Boy:
“Do I vibrate a lot?” Girl:”No, when u get in 2 d tunnel u loose network
———————————————–

Man says to his wife: Let me take a picture of your breasts, then I can always look at them.
Wife: Let me take a picture of you penis, I will have it enlarged
———————————————–

A cute Nurse came for the interview..
Dr: What salary YOU expect?
Nurse: Rs.10,000.
Dr was overjoyed & said: My Pleasure.
Nurse: With pleasure it’s 25,000
———————————————–

Sex is like NOKIA (connecting people)
like NIKE (just do it)
like PEPSI(ask for more)
like SAMSUNG (everyone is invited) and
like ME (TO GOOD TO BE TRUE)..
———————————————–

The most difficult golf course in the world is… “Women Hole” any
style you play… as many shots you try… & as much perfection you have… you
can never get your balls in…!!!
———————————————–

Ladki Fish pot ko dekh kar boli:
Haye.. Ye machaliya itni sundar q hoti hai..??
Ladka: kyu ki wo KAPDE nahi pehanti..!!
———————————————–

A pregnant lady went to an astrologer.
Astrologer: When u deliver a baby, baby‘s father will die.
Lady: Thank god! My husband is safe
———————————————–

Can we do romance in the midnight today?
I’m in a good mood:)
Just a little bit of kissing and biting!!
Reply me soon,
yours Loving Mosquito.
———————————————–
I want to suck you
lick you
wanna move my tongue all over you
wanna feel you in my mouth
yep, that’s how you
eat an ice cream!

———————————————–
Girl:It’s too tight
Boy: Don’t worry; I’ll do it slowly,
Gal: Push it in,
Boy:Ah..I can’t,
Gal: It’s painful,
Boy:Forget it.
.
.
.
.
We’ll buy new WEDDING RING!
———————————————–
How to impress a woman: compliment her, kiss her, love her, tease her, protect her, listen to her, support her. How 2 impress a man: Show up naked, bring beer!!
———————————————–
A Good friend is like a Good bra… hard to find, comfortable, supportive, prevents you from falling, holds you tight and is always close to your heart!
———————————————–
Always remember:
When SHE cancels a date, it is because..
“SHE HAS TO”
But
When HE cancels a date, it is because..
“HE HAS TWO” 😉
———————————————–
A woman married a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother:
“My husband only has ONE FOOT”.
Her Motherreplied:
“You are lucky,your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES”
———————————————–
Before the examination,
Scott asked the doctor
if they ever laughed at their patients’ problems.
The Doctor replied ‘Of course I won’t laugh,
I’m a professional.
In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.
‘Okay then,’ Scott said,
and proceeded to drop his trousers,
revealing the tiniest ‘whoo-ha’ the doctor had ever seen. It
———————————————–
On dinner, Son asks father: How many kinds of boobs r here?
DAD: 3 kinds,
In 20s like oranges, round n firm.
In 30-40 like pears, still nice but hanging a bit.
After 50 like onions, u see them nd they make you cry.
———————————————–
Suhag Raat Ki Rat Ko Apni Wife Se Sex
Karne Ke Bad Pati Ne Apni Patni Se
Puchha Ki Tune Kya Mehsoos Kiya
Toh Patni Boli
5% Sharam,
5% Dard Or
90% Purane Din Yaad Aa Gaye !!
———————————————–
Sardar: Will you marry me?
Girl: Sorry I am a lesbian.
Sardar: What’s a lesbian?
Girl: I like to sleep with girls.
Sardar: Give me a hand… I am also lesbian.
———————————————–
The most difficult golf course in the world is..
“Women Hole” any style you play…
as many shots you try..
And as much perfection you have..
you can never get your balls in…!!!